Few people realize the deep connection between the crisis of morality, citizenship, and toxic parenting practices in Haiti. A society that raises children without love, listening, or emotional support is a society that sets its future citizens up for failure.
An Education Without Family Psychology
Our educational culture does not consider the psychology of the child or the family. Fathers and mothers are often invalidated by social mechanisms that erode self-esteem, autonomy, and the capacity to love.
Interventions by some social workers, poorly trained or unaware of the harm they cause, prolong longstanding suffering. Instead of healing, they exacerbate invisible wounds. Jean-Marie Gang in Bad Thoughts of a Social Worker and Françoise Dolto in The Cause of Children provide striking examples of this.
Wounded Children Who Become Immoral Adults
Why do our children suffer from incomplete socialization? Why do they become adults without bearings? Because they come from homes where parenting has failed, where love has been absent or replaced by violence, fear, or indifference.
I am neither a psychologist nor a certified expert, but as a former child victim of pathological parenting, I bear witness. This wound followed me into adulthood, profoundly affecting my social relationships. It was only through strategic distancing that I was able to regain beneficial psychological balance.
When Love Is Absent in a Child’s Conception
Often, young people unite out of survival instinct, not love. Emotional immaturity, lack of communication, and absence of tenderness turn these couples into silent battlegrounds. From this muted violence, children are born deprived of any emotional bearings.
“A child conceived without love, raised in lovelessness, often becomes a wounded adult incapable of loving.”
As Françoise Dolto and Élisabeth Badinter state, a child needs love from conception and throughout their growth to become a stable, healthy, and balanced adult.
From Emotional Abandonment to Social Violence
How many young Haitians recruited into armed groups have been deprived of love and a stable family structure? Manipulated by national and international political elites, these youths lack the emotional resources needed to choose altruism and civic responsibility. They have reached the limits of their resilience, and violence has become their only language.
But the pain doesn’t stop there. Other youths, unarmed, replicate this suffering in their relationships: at work, in romantic partnerships, in their neighborhoods. Their violence is psychological, verbal, sometimes silent. And often, they don’t even realize they are wounded themselves.
Ignorance, the Fuel of a Vicious Cycle
In a society where illiteracy is widespread, few understand that violence can be emotional, symbolic, or relational. Trauma becomes hereditary. The history of slavery is the cradle of this tragic repetition.
Frantz Fanon, in Black Skin, White Masks, shows how the victim can become the oppressor and how normalcy can mask deep trauma. This is what our society is experiencing.
When Schools, Churches, and Media Fail
Teachers who have never healed their childhood wounds educate children with harshness. Religious leaders, often poorly trained, spread an authoritarian, intolerant, guilt-inducing morality. The media employ untrained journalists who normalize violence, insult, defame, violate privacy, and destroy human dignity.
What if our salvation began with a simple act: learning to love ourselves, so we can finally learn to love our children?
Perhaps it is in this return to human tenderness that the greatest revolution possible for Haiti lies.
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